I was perusing the newspaper over lunch and saw an extraordinary article about the latest anti-ageing creams. They really are getting increasingly bizarre. The latest bonkers ingredients which are claimed to banish wrinkles and lines include: bee mucus extract and a gene found in nectar; placental proteins; cow's first milk or colostrum; extract of purified snail slime; and even crystals extracted from seminal fluid.
One of the products mentioned contains snake venom peptide. This is Syence Skin Care's Snake Venom Memory Cream. Syence has a stand next to Queen in John Bell & Croyden in Wigmore Street so we know the company well. Their cream costs a whopping £180 a pop. And yes, people do buy it. I can't say whether it works or not as I don't get close enough to the customers to be able to tell but presumably there are those who do believe it does.
Our creams and lotions are positively pedestrian in comparison. I don't know whether extract of snail or seminal fluid would irritate sensitive skin and I can't imagine we will ever find out. Even a product name change causes ructions among Queen customers so the introduction of Queen Boiled Pig's Trotter Eye Serum (we are based on a converted pig farm) will have to wait.
Pedestrian or not, Queen products are still finding new fans. This week, like last, has seen lots of new customers graduate to buying full-size products having tried free samples. And word is spreading. An Italian lady writes:
"A friend of mine was given a sample few weeks ago while shopping in John Bell & Croyden at Wigmore Street in London of both Queen Rich Cleanser and Sensiderma Moisturiser. Well, I have to admit she is full of excitement and admiration since she tried so much herself which did not work."
I do like the idea of people being full of admiration and excitement having used our products. Could that be a new strap line for us? Queen - fills you full of admiration and excitement. Hmm, it could work.
Sadly, not everyone has this joyful reaction. One lady, who had requested a free sample and then had, for reasons we don't understand, been charged £1.53 in excess postage and handling fees (despite the package being small enough to fit through the letterbox the postman had not seen fit to deliver it so the lady had to go to her nearest sorting office) was furious with us. She wrote: "Needless to say I am not at all happy about this and would appreciate a reimbursement. I hope this is not normal practice as it does not give a good initial impression of your firm." Ouch! We did, of course, offer her a reimbursement and, in the event she chooses to have anything to do with us again, a discount but I have not yet heard back from her.
This week's stint at John Bell & Croyden was good fun. There were lots of gaps on the Queen shelves which always puts me in a good mood (as long as there are some stocks to replenish supplies). Sir Terry Wogan had been in and there had been lots of good natured chat about the Eurovision Song Contest and what a load of rubbish it was. Of course, I missed him and there were no other celebrities on my shift. Typical!
I did meet a very nice woman who owns a perfumery (Perfumeria Sonia) in Tenerife in the Canary Islands. She seemed very interested in Queen and the idea of speciality beauty products for sensitive skin so perhaps she might become a stockist. Another lady who is setting up a cosmetics' website also listened while I wittered on about Queen and disabused her of the various silly scare stories perpetuated by some companies and journalists. A wonderful Marlene Dietrich impersonator also wandered by so I distracted her from the Vichy counter to have a chat. She is a part-time entertainer. I didn't get her name but gave her the details of the comic impresario I met a few months ago, Hils Jago, in a bid to demonstrate how well connected I am.
Good news for John Bell is that the Public Relations consultants Citigate Dewe Rogerson who represent John Bell's parent company Lloyds Pharmacy have been drafted in to do some public relations for the store. It really is a fabulous place - full of all sorts of products you won't find anywhere else - but it really doesn't have the profile it should have.
My final triumph of the day was to recommend to the horse-racing enthusiasts that they have a (small) each way bet on Dame Judi Dench's horse Smokey Oakey which was running that evening at Sandown. It won at 20/1 so my street cred should be very high when I go in next week. Perhaps the staff will be so pleased they will work extra hard to promote Queen.
Oh, before I forget, I have just added a survey on our website in order to find out more about the people who visit our site. If you have a spare 90 seconds (it won't take any longer, I promise), please do check it out here or visit our site at www.queen-cosmetics.com. You will receive a 10% discount on your next Queen order. What an incentive!
Time to dispatch the orders.
Have a good weekend.
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